There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
I have no idea what I’m going to write about. How about people? Ordinary people are heroes to me. People who are willing to help one another. People just like you and me.
Well, at least like you – if you’re for some reason reading my diary.
Who’s teaching who
I still remember when I build my first website with table layouts while studying math in the University of Jyväskylä. Those were the days! But it doesn’t feel like yesterday anymore. More like day before.
Nevertheless being a math teacher has been the perfect choice for me. It’s been fun, challenging, and rewarding. I’ve probably learnt lot more from students than they have from me.
Heck, they even got me into WordPress when I was taking my ex-students short film course. Was it 2008? Something like that. We needed a website for our short film and had only 1-2 days. Students gave me link to WordPress.com and I was sold. Getting site up and running was easy and fast.
“Well come here and do it yourself!!” – drama class student shouted.
That’s another good lesson I’ve learnt.
It’s so easy to give negative feedback (don’t do it like that) without doing anything yourself or giving constructive feedback.
Oh boy I still feel ashamed when I judged a book by it’s cover. This time the book cover was a blonde girl asking weird questions with high voice. I was a prison of my prejudice and instantly assumed she must be bad at math. How wrong was I. She was brilliant.
At least the prison gate is now open if I just understand to walk out.
Who am I
Sometimes I wonder what other people think of me? Do they think I’m open minded teacher, or front-developer who cares about accessibility. But does any of that matter? Job title really doesn’t tell anything who I am. Or anybody else.
But who am I? I’m not sure how to define me. I’m no dad or husband. I do have several good traits but there are also demons inside me. Lack of empathy is one of them. And that comes down to this:
In the end I’m a selfish asshole.
It’s okay to be selfish from time to time but it’s not okay to let people down big time when they need me most. Being an ordinary human being is not one of my strengths but I’ll promise to work on it.
Friends will be friends
I consider myself lucky. I have lovely parents and two crazy big brothers. And over the years I have made friendships that last forever.
I hope everybody have a friend who is like a bridge between other friends. Someone who is always organizing something fun: bowling, music gigs, dinners, sports. Someone who is always nice to others and would never hurt a fly.
I had a friend like that.
But as a return I couldn’t help him enough. Shadows of life had taken over him. He could not see the light anymore. He died by suicide before christmas 2015.
Now he can’t fall anymore. He will always be our beloved one and we’ll miss him more than words can express. So many songs reflects to memories we have. For example this Finnish song that I heard exactly one year after his death. (Lyrics in english).
Why is it so much easier to talk about other problems but not your own. Why is it so hard to ask help when you really need it.
Life goes on
Do I need to say anything. No I don’t.
WordPress is not important
WordPress is not important. People behind it are, they have feelings. I wish more people would remember that when commenting on blog posts, Slack, or other online tools with shitty attitudes.
Being nice and constructive goes a long way.
At the same time it’s amazing to notice how WordPress combines people together from all over the world. In WordCamps and meetups I have found new friends that really matter. That feels good.
Maybe WordPress is important after all.